Connecting with Others - In the Spirit for Living!

February brought one can be the most romantic of holidays - Valentine’s Day. Many receive tokens of love in the form of candy, chocolates, roses and for those lucky ones, perhaps a spa treatment…I’m really due for one. But what I always make sure to remind myself and others – it’s as important to give love to others as it is to ‘love you’. Loving yourself means taking a few minutes out of every day to stay in tune with your needs, your wants, your hopes and dreams.


I just moved back into New York City from a long stint in the suburbs. I was drawn to all that the city offers – culture, interesting people, the amazing Central Park. It promised a new and exciting day in what was increasing becoming a mid-thirties life crisis (hopefully this won’t become a decennium habit). So with all this excitement, came trying to find fellow Manhattan’ites who I could eventually call a friend. I’ve moved many times before but each time does not make it any easier. Short of wearing a sign that says ‘befriend me, I’m not weird or crazy’, what can we do to connect with our fellow man/woman?

Connecting with people is so important because staying fit also includes a fit mind. Nutrition, work/life balance and keeping active are all key factors, of course. But for me and most others, I believe connecting with people on various levels is a major piece of the equation.

Past moves have led me to the following strategies to meet new people:

Meetup.com

I actually first heard of this site a few years ago from a childhood friend who had recently become a mother. She found a nice group of other newbie moms in the area to meet up with.

I went on to the site and typed in New York and was pleasantly surprised to see quite a few interesting groups – from the eccentric to traditional mommies and sport groups – there seems to be something for almost everyone. I’d probably lean more to a sport or movie or language where I wouldn’t (or couldn’t) be put on the spot as soon as I joined.

RentAFriend.com

This is a site is one I literally just heard about from a friend of a friend. They are considering a cross country move, where they would be starting fresh. So they mentioned this site as a way they could start meeting and getting introduced to locals.

Upon visiting their site (which I must admit is a bit cheesy) I feel that I’d need some references of those who have tried this successfully….the fact that the images of people look like they’re from college may speak to only certain groups of people.

Professional associations

I like these because I’m achieving two goals – helping to meet new people and also helping with professional development. So if you’re a full time career woman, you can find someone to gab to about how the economy has affected your industry as well as perhaps grab a drink after work with. There are associations for almost every trade – all you have to do is go to a search engine to research.

Take a class at your local community college

This one is always classic – I’ve taken quite a few classes over the years. It’s helped keep my mind fresh, my resume stand out and also extend my network.

Try a free trial at your local gym

Most gyms have a free day trial (some two days or longer). A day at the gym at least makes your body feel good and by chance you can end up talking to the person next to you in the locker room about what they think of being a member. It could end up being a future gym buddy.

If you are spiritual or religious – try a class or study group

Anything from a Bible study class to a meditation or yoga class - people that attend these types of classes are typically a little more open minded and friendly towards newcomers. It can be a way to cleanse your soul as well as find a little companionship.

Community work or volunteering

Lastly, I’ve found if I’m feeling down or lonely, take the focus off me. I’ve found myself doing various volunteering over the years. I’ve done everything from the soup kitchen to reading to children during lunchtime. There are so many great efforts and initiatives out there, helping so many people, it’s just a great way to focus outwards and also to meet some other really great people. (Try http://charitynavigator.org/ to research charities for volunteerism or donation.)



Really, meeting new people is a bit chance and a bit enough bravery to say ‘hello’ to another human being. It is sometimes difficult to overcome the thought of rejection but the few times I’ve dared, I have had at the very least a polite exchange. But I can honestly say that other times; I have met the most interesting people and the closest friends.

Drive your Spirit for Living!